Why it’s so hard to criticize our parents

Adam Craveiro
4 min readMay 13, 2022
A father on a fishing boat with his two kids
Photo by Les Anderson on Unsplash

The importance of emotional safety in understanding ourselves

Friday nights as a teenager were often a dull affair. Sometimes I’d have a friend over to watch a movie. Other times I’d play video games or read on my own. If I was lucky, I might have even found myself at Tim Horton’s with a friend. The joyrides and house parties that characterized adolescence for many teens were rare for me.

On the odd occasion I did go out, I’d come home to my mom peering out through the blinds as I pulled my car into the driveway. She’d greet me as I came in and ask how my night was. If I responded in a chipper, upbeat tone, she’d be satisfied and saunter to bed. Otherwise, she’d interrogate me to figure out what was wrong and if I was hurt.

As this trend continued into my early 20s, I started to question her on why she’d stay up past midnight waiting for me—to which she’d respond, “I can’t sleep if I don’t know you’re safe.”

Most outsiders can probably see how stifling and anxious her behaviour was. They might even suggest that I should have been more defiant or assertive about my boundaries. But at the time, I felt like I was in the wrong for causing her to worry so much.

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Adam Craveiro
Adam Craveiro

Written by Adam Craveiro

content writer | mental wellness advocate | dabbler extraordinaire | dog & cat dad | certified nerd